October 6, 2020– Today our guest blogger is Sam Nemeth, author of DJ the Terrible! Check out her book here: https://pandamoniumpublishing.com/product/dj-djeaneautha-the-terrible/ and her blog post below:
Covid Blues & Soul Searching- It’s your friendly neighbourhood, Sam, here to talk about what I’ve been reading! But first, I need to discuss what led me to it. If you ask anyone who knows me, they would probably say I’m smiley, bubbly, goofy; like DJ in my book, DJ the Terrible. However, though I might often appear this way, I am not always sunshine and rainbows. As one of the only members of my family in the highly scrutinized arts industry, I’ve cultivated the self-inflicted need to validate myself by always being bigger, better, and more exciting. If I’m not, I’m my own biggest bully.
2019 was amazing for me. I was on set multiple times, my debut novel was published, I went to the Alps; I always had something new and thrilling to talk about. 2020 was meant to continue that momentum. The world had other plans. Suddenly, I was quarantined and out of work. I couldn’t travel, couldn’t get married, and struggled to promote myself. Instead, I was on the couch doing nothing, crippled by thoughts of how I was letting everyone down, and how I was meaningless in our new 2020 world. I still dread that little question everyone asks: “What have you been up to?” The voice in my head: “Nothing, nothing, nothing, I am nothing.” On the outside: Smiling, “I took up Yoga. I can do the splits now.”
After some serious soul searching, the desire to create some positive habits led me to The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg. The book explains what habits really are, how to create new ones, and about the habit loop: Cue, Routine, Reward. Ithought, could my negative self-talk be a habit? My cue: sitting on the couch doing nothing. It started in my high school days where I wanted to have good grades. Relaxing was the cue, negative self-talk was the routine that led to me studying and getting an awesome grade: the reward.
I think I carried that perfectionistic cycle with me and without my go-to activities to combat the voice, my negative self-talk played on repeat. It dug me into a hole that was harder and harder to climb out of; especially when restrictions lifted and my peers raced to continue their successful careers. What started as a self-improvement tactic became what is holding me back. The Power of Habit teaches how to analyze the habit loop and how to identify cues. I’m using this as a tool, among others, on my journey home to the person I want to be; the person DJ the Terrible is based on. For anyone hoping for more DJ & Godfrey adventures, fear not; I am not giving up on them. I’m slowly but surely plotting out their journeys.
If you have habits or thoughts that are getting you down, you’re not alone. I encourage you to pick up The Power of Habit. Oh, and for any entrepreneurs out there, it also talks about how you can use the habit loop as a strategy for your business!
* Lacey here, I read The Power of Habit in 2012 when it first came out, a great book with lots of info on why we do what we do:)